Attack of the Spider (Not really)

This just happened, and I have to hurry up and write about it before it stops being funny. Our roommate Ashley just came running out of the bathroom saying something about a spider being in there. She’s fairly butch, and my girlfriend is really butch. I am so very very girly and femme. I have no fear of spiders at all, and they both are completely terrified of them. Any spider, no matter how small.

Ashley: “Spider, there’s a spider in there. Its a giant spider!”
Me: “What? There’s a spider in the bathroom?”
Ashley: “Yes! Its a big spider!”
Me: “What kind is it?”
Ashley: “I don’t know. Its huge.”
Me: “Okay, where is it?”
Ashley: Standing in the hallway, far from the bathroom. “Its in there, in a toilet paper roll!”
Me: “What? In a toilet paper roll? Where?” I go into the bathroom, there are several empty toilet paper rolls on the floor, and a pair of my flip flops.
Ashley: “In there” Carefully pointing to the one roll furthest from the others.

I pick up the roll, and a daddy long legs in hanging out in the end of it. He’s about 1 inch in diameter including legs, so about average for a daddy long legs, light brown, and fairly whispy looking. I pick carry the empty roll with the spider near the front door, in the dark. Now we’re moving, and the spider decides to go for a walk. He climbs up my right arm, and I lose track of him. I finally get to the front door where the living room light switch is. I’m laughing because his little legs are tickly, and because I can hear Ashley and Dianne freaking out in our bedroom.

Me: “I’ve lost track of him.” Switch on the light. “I can’t find him. Come help me look!”
Ashley and Dianne yell back a chorus of no’s and swear words.
Me: “Oh, here he is! Its just a daddy long legs, its ok!” I found him on my left arm. I’ve now unlocked the door to take him out front. In doing so, I lost him again. He was very hard to see in the first place.
Me: “I lost him again! Help me look for him!”
Ashley and Dianne are yelling various forms of no back at me.
Me: “I think he’s on my face, or my head! I can’t find him. If you don’t help me he’ll be lost in here forever!”
Still, no response or help comes.
Me: “Oh wait I found him again!” He was hanging out on my shoulder. I put him in my hand and closed my fingers around him so he can’t get away. His legs are dancing around in there, very ticklish. I put him near a bush in front of the house and come back in.

I walk into our bedroom to find Ashley standing on the trunk at the end of our bed, and Dianne is huddled under a blanket. I tell them I put him out front.

Me: “I thought I lost him, or that he was on my face, but he was on my shoulder”
Ashley: “I was worried he would get on my feet” Still on top of the trunk by the way.
Dianne: “Oh good, cause the first thing I thought was ‘I’m gonna miss her face’”
Me: “He’s out front, he’s gone now. It was just a daddy long legs.”
Dianne: “He’s going to climb over the house to get in the back!”
Me: “No he’s not”

Ashley finally got down and went back to her room. I told her I have no idea how she’s going to live in Australia.

2 thoughts on “Attack of the Spider (Not really)

  1. Haha; nice! They’re lucky to have you (as are the spiders)! That sounds like a few incidents we’ve had with me and Aaron. The last time, he made me get a spider out of the bathroom but I wanted to keep it in a cup until morning so I could look up what kind it was. I left it there for two or three days and it hatched spiderlings in a cup in our laundry room. I don’t think I’m allowed to keep them anymore.