The outside, it burns

I’m not known for leaving the house. Not ever. I don’t like being around groups of people, its starting to get really hot outside, and I like not having to wear pants. Alas, a friend of ours birthday party was this past weekend, and we went. I was responsible enough to take my xanax beforehand, however, that only stops the panic attacks. The flow of stupid and inappropriate words could not be dammed.

To prepare you, the time before this we went to a party, I explained in detail a vagina being waxed and having the lips possibly torn off because of the procedure (as a joke, as far as I know this never actually happened). We haven’t been invited back to that house.

I thought it would be fun to highlight some of the night in really badly drawn cartoon form. Again, badly drawn…

We're the people who spend the party with the animals.

We’re the people who spend the party with the animals.

The first attempt a mingling with the other guests.

The first attempt a mingling with the other guests.

No matter where Dianne trys to redirect me, I'm still going to make things uncomfortable.

No matter where Dianne trys to redirect me, I’m still going to make things uncomfortable.

 

Yet another failed attempt at making new friends.

Yet another failed attempt at making new friends.

 

I may have avoided a panic attack, I also managed to remind Dianne why I shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

I haven’t heard anything terrible about us from the party, so I’m guessing everyone else was plenty drunk and I will continue to pretend we were a hit.

 

 

3 thoughts on “The outside, it burns

  1. OmG, my face hurts and I think I almost peed my pants! Lol, this is just great! YouCrack meUp! I love your guts!

    • Next time when people at one of your parties say “have I met you before?” I’ll be able to say, “Oh yes, I asked if you had herpes”

      • This is one of the many many reasons I love you, and have kept in contact for the past 12 years (holy shit 12 years!!)