Vicodin doesn’t exist

I’m just going to type up a quick conversation I’m having with my brain. It’s also 2:40 am, there’s your context.

Me: “I should sleep. Why am I not sleepy? Stupid theoatmeal.com, if it wasn’t so interesting I wouldn’t be awake.”

Brain: “I don’t want to sleep. Put on another episode of Angel and read more of theoatmeal.com. How’s your jaw and tooth area feeling?”

Me: “I really should sleep. Its late. I think I’m tired, I might even yawn. My jaw and tooth still hurt. And I keep finding miscellaneous mouth and dentistry garbage in my mouth. Should I take something for the pain? I’ve already taken 4 Vicodin today, and lots of other things.”

Brain: “You really should take more Vicodin. I might consider sleep then, but only if you take Ambien or Sonata too. Maybe some ibuprofen just in case. And a muscle relaxer. Wait, all of that will make Stomach upset. Take a zofran too.”

Me: “That’s a ton of pills. I took most of those earlier. Vicodin and sleeping pills? Who am I now, Elvis? Plus, I think all of these eventually will do damage to my liver, or was it my kidneys…”

Brain: “Shhhh. It’s ok. If you can’t feel the effects of the drugs, then the drugs don’t exist. It’s basically like they just decided not to digest and enter your bloodstream. You’re just going to poop them out later. It’ll be ok. Who has been telling you these lies about your organs? Was it Gall Bladder, that bitch, where’s my shovel.”

Me: “You know, this chat is a bit insane. Maybe we should give each other some space…”

random internets

Randomy randomness

I have no actual paragraphs of interestingness to say, so I’ll just say whatever has stomped through my brain the past few days.

never enough zombie killing

Saw Resident Evil: Retribution. There were no zombie dogs this time. Were we unable to get past the fact that it’s still a dog, so we’re a little sad when they die? Or were we just tired of the zombie dogs, and needed something new? What about zombie dinosaurs? Oh wait, that’s not believable.

 

 

 

I still don’t understand the drool about an iphone. Don’t explain it to me, I won’t understand. And don’t ever say a single thing about how much I spend on shoes if you own an iphone. 

I wonder if any of my medications are making me dumber. I seem to have more trouble spelling, speaking, and putting together logical sentences. It’s also possible that its due to old age, I did just turn 32.

My body actually feels tired after a migraine finally goes away. I call it my migraine hangover. I would google to see if other people get this, but I also don’t care.

Someone’s Us magazine got put in our mail box. I read it. No, I tried to read it. I looked at some of the pictures. I realized I didn’t know who most of the people were. I realized I didn’t care. I also think gossip magazines are tacky and have a general distaste for paparazzi. Maybe I’m a snob.

I do not have Buffy/Angel/Firefly rewatches. They are on a consistent loop. I did not include Dollhouse, haven’t really welcomed it into the fold yet. It’s all the implied rapeyness, I can’t handle that much rapey rapeyness.

All hail the whedonyness

I like the other blogs I read that show other people unable to function as adults. They make me feel better about my inability to function as an adult.

I’m reading The Courtesan’s Revenge. I had to look up what Black Pudding is. What the hell is wrong with people.

I got a couple new bras, and as most women with large breasts, I only go through this torture as needed. There is no “fun bra shopping” on my planet. I had to get resized. I’m a 44F. I don’t care about the 44, but F?? Seriously?

finally someone understands these things are all not fun and games

I almost accidentally killed myself on my birthday. I always put together a migraine cocktail before I leave the house, one dose, all one bottle, about 10 pills total. I keep the xanax in its own bottle. I wasn’t looking, it was nearly dark because of a movie about to start. It’s a good thing I actually looked down just before I tossed them in my mouth. Can 10 2mg xanax kill you?