Scary Search Words

Finally checked my site stats. I’m doing ok for a new site. I am a bit worried about the search terms people are using to get here though. I know that I write erotica/porn, along with horror, poetry, and a blog. I however do not write anything described in some of these search terms. I’m going to sleep now, feeling quite perplexed.


daddy good girl wet panties gently fingers I think this person was looking for porn, and my site was not what they expected. Also I’m a little worried about who this person is.

hermit crab slow sad This actually could be a poorly written summary of my blog about hermit crabs.

vagina wurds I suggest you start with spellcheck before you get into the thesaurus

nina potts You found me! Good job!

there’s a spider in the bathroom and i lost track of it Its probably in your pillowcase, waiting to hug your face with its 8 legs while you sleep.

grand daddy long legs The grandfather of that spider you lost track of.

“anne rice” pony I follow her on facebook, I’m fairly certain she doesn’t have a pony.

kids wearing thongs in public I sincerely hope you mean the shoes, also known as flip flops. Otherwise, I hope you end up on To Catch A Predator.

sexo kids teen ninã dad Does To Catch A Predator have a Spanish version? I do love dancing, so this is appropriate.

is hugh hefner really as boring as he seems? I follow him on Twitter, he’s pretty cool.

i am a christian lesbian into bdsm Good for you, might I suggest the St. Andrews Cross?

dad has dog fuck mom I have no beastiality on my site, please stop looking.

dog fart family sex See note above. There is also no incest porn here either. Stop.

nina poop this you will not find on a search engine, but in my toilet. That is not an invitation to come to my house and take things from my toilet.

daddy long legs in ohio Ok, if the spider isn’t in your pillowcase, maybe it moved to Ohio? I don’t know if this insomnia you speak of. Just like I’m not writing this blog at 5 AM. I hope this counts as a copywrite or patent for my newly invented workout.

nina from kink I’m actually from Arizona. Kink sounds interesting though, where is that?

animals_ erotika pony I don’t approve of molesting animals. Though I hear they do in Tijuana. I will never visit there, so please don’t ask.

nena galloway potts for sale This is not me, and I am definitely not for sale.

“she smacked the bare” floor Again, a brilliant way to start a new workout regime

nina pott playboy If this is Hugh Hefner trying to find me, I totally accept.

funny dirty ecards some e cards should really get the credit for this one

child rice porn I don’t even…. gross.

migraine aftercare bdsm I’m sorry to this person, I have no solutions for migraines after BDSM.

basic tenet of bdsm To summarize, I want to hurt you, not harm you.

what to dress for public sex No underwear is a good start.

im a sore winner I should have limbered up first. A classic movie, a great blog, where could this go wrong?

never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option nina Quote made by me, so stop saying its from Mark Twain unless you have in print proof printed before 2002, when I said this.

Dance Your Ass Off

If you don’t know this movie, I’m sorry for you

I’m inventing a new workout. Maybe it’s not new, I don’t know. I’m not researching it or anything, but I do already have a name picked out. It’s called Dance Your Ass Off (from now on referred to as DYAO). Basically, it’s just fucking dancing. All kinds of dancing, for around thirty minutes to an hour, basically whatever I can handle that day. I’m going to make a playlist of music that sounds good right before I do it, and then just dance around in my tiny ass house.

How do you start your own DYAO routine? Fuck, I don’t know, do the same thing. Hopefully you have a bigger living room. The main point here is to dance. Dance motherfucker dance! We’re not dancing to look cool, or get our cardio up, or impress someone. No, we’re fucking moving around crazy and shit because we’re fucking DANCING. You want to just do air kicks and high-five invisible friends? Awesome! Ballet, and you don’t even know ballet? Fuck yeah. Go do it, just do some Footloose movie kick dancing, then maybe some sprinkler moves, get a good bra on and do the running man for a while. Spin around as much as you can but not so much you puke.

Maybe this is a crazy persons version of sweating to the oldies. I don’t know. I’m making this up as I go along. If you are trying to work out certain parts of your body, or you go to a gym, or you actually give a fuck what people think when they see you prancing around your living room, this is not the workout for you. Also, don’t dance on furniture. I have an Ikea couch, that shit looks like it will break when I sit on it, don’t stand on the fucking Ikea furniture. Probably any furniture really. That leads to concussions, twisted ankles, having to buy a new coffee table, and not being able to fucking dance.

I read somewhere that exercising helps people with Fibromyalgia feel a little better, or maybe a lot better. When I say read an article, I mean skimmed an article at 3am because I couldn’t sleep. Seriously, if they said “dying your skin purple makes people with Fibromyalgia feel better” I would be soaking in a big ass vat of purple dye right now. I do not care anymore. Fuck being sick, I’m gonna go fucking dance.

PS: Why was the use of the word fuck so important? Because we’re fucking EXCITED fucker.

PPS: Spell check suggested instead of Fibromyalgia I use the word fibroblast, which would be a much more kick ass name for a shitty ass illness.

PPPS: I haven’t slept. This may all end in tears later.