New Story: A Bad Way

Graphic adult material is contained here. You must 18 years of age to read the story linked here. If you are below 18 years of age, please click here

Otherwise, please enjoy this erotic story. I commend you for choosing to read erotica as opposed to watching it, as reading is something that is truly a sexy hobby. Please feel free to leave comments on the stories. Most of them will be of a lesbian and/or trans variety. If this is not your slice of pie, feel free to wander to other areas of the site. Thank you again for your support!!

 

New Story: A Bad Way

She knew, at night, sitting alone in her apartment, she knew something was wrong. She would do anything to distract herself, read, watch TV, chat rooms, even meticulously clean. Anything to keep her wall up, the facade that got her through everyday life. She always felt different, her desires a betrayal of the strict feminist teachings that she embraced and idolized at college. This feeling drove her crazy, sickened by the cravings of total submission, objectification, rough and painful sex, all against everything she believed. Her life was going exactly as planned, on track in every way. She had what most dreamed of, perfect career, a home, friends, although she was alone she felt content with her successful life. She had a life her feminist role models would applaud her for. Inside she was ashamed, she admitted her thoughts to no one, these things were the reason she was always alone. She kept her walls up, determination to have her “perfect” life drove her through each day. Very little could console her when the walls did come down, or some detour distracted her from her path. Those were the nights she lost all control.

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Public Sex: What to wear?

I recently responded to this post at Queerie Bradshaw about what to wear if you might be having public sex. I have quite a bit of experience in that department, and have some fun suggestions. Most of these only apply to women and femmes, but they’re a great read and can give you some ideas too.

This is the link to the post:

http://www.queeriebradshaw.com/queerie-me-what-to-wear-for-public-sex/

I’m big on public sex, and there are the typical things that work like skirts, dresses, draw string pants, shirts with bodice lacing, halter tops, etc. Here are my go to items for when I’m going to a bar/club/wherever that I might be getting laid at:

Shoes: Knee high-heeled boots. They offer great ankle stability, and generally are less painful after hours on your feet than regular heels.

Pants: Tight low-cut jeans. These may seem like they’ll get in the way, but they’ll open you up for less used positions. Up against a wall fingering or oral, or turn around and bend over. Plus tighter jeans have less chance of dragging on the ground and getting gross from whatever you might be standing in. For a butch or guy, I suggest button fly’s over something with a zipper. Zippers have a chance to rub against someones bare skin in a super painful way.

Belt: this leaves options open for kinkyness, anything from gagging, wrist binding, and spanking. Make sure its easy to take off and a good weight.

Top: I love wearing my underwear as outer wear. I prefer somewhere like Fredericks because they tend to carry a larger variety of sizes (but still too small for anyone plus sized unfortunately) and they’re stuff has a lot more flash. This might work for us plus sized folk, though I’ve never shopped there, just ogled their catalogue, Hips and Curves. I have a gorgeous satin and lace bustier that I used to wear all the time. A zip front corset is super fun too, and easy to get in/out of, either partially or fully. This also will kill the need for a bra, so less to deal with.

Corsets are sexy outside the bedroom too!

Panties: I used to be a stripper, and the most comfortable thongs on the planet are stripper thongs. You’ll probably end up wearing them all the time, they’re that comfortable. They make special ones with little hooks on either side in the front so they come off without having to take off your pants then panties, giving you more room to work with. Most stripper thongs are listed as “one size fits all”, but I can tell you from experience, most won’t fit over a U.S. size 14, 16 if your hips aren’t too big.

Don’t carry a purse. Then you’re left figuring out what to do with it while you’re getting down, so it may end up laying on a pee soaked floor or alley. Gross.

If you think you might get kinkier than the belt, get creative. Paper clips can easily hold your money, and be good for sensation play, nipple play (as pincers). Bobby pins too. A scarf or hanky can work as a blindfold or to tie someone up (if your belt is being used elsewhere, wink wink). Combs work for sensation play too, and small ones are cheap at most beauty supply stores or stores that have a travel section. A rubber band can work as a super small way for delivering sharp pain, snapping it onto skin at varying degrees.

Boots and your top are good places to keep necessities, like gloves, condoms, alcohol wipes, etc. If you think you’ll be needing lube, get some of the little single servings they usually sell at the counter at your sex friendly stores, like Fascinations, Good Vibes, Babeland, Womyn’s Ware.  And in a sandwich baggie for safe keeping of everything together. Keep a rubber band on your wrist if your hair is long and it needs to be out of the way, and it gives you something else to possibly play with (see above). Don’t bother with pockets for keeping your safer sex items, by the time they’ve been in there with your money, lip gloss, etc, they probably are a bit rumpled and possibly punctured.

Lastly, come prepared with more than just your outfit. Know what you might want to do that night, whats off limits, and have a safeword ready.

I’ll post again soon about my tips on keeping yourself safe when you go out, not just safer sex, but personal safety as well.

 

 

Keeping it freaky, educated, and loving the BDSM community

After that last post you’re all “yawn, I better get this grandma an afghan so I can hear about her failing liver”. Nope, we’re on to fun and exciting topics.

Like sex, kinky, BDSM, fun, sex.

Dianne and I will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in September. That is just amazing to me. Before her I never lived in the same apartment for 6 months, and my longest relationship was a grueling 2 1/2 years.  Awww, right? I’m all domesticated, as one of my friends once said. Yes, and a really big no.  To people in the BDSM community, I am more than just a lesbian, and a femme. I’m a masochistic bratty girl bottom, somewhat submissive, with very occasional Dominant and sadistic tendencies. I’ll update on Dianne later, she’s sleeping, and I’m not allowed to spill specifics of our sex life and her preferences without her permission first.

People in this community have various “do’s and don’ts”. This can be basic “how to behave at a play party or sex club” to the list of something someone is willing and unwilling to do. There can be contracts, collars, protocol, and rules. While this sounds difficult, and may seem scary, it’s not. If BDSM on any level appeals to you, and you feel ready to take it past a fantasy, you should feel empowered and unashamed to do so.  I strongly suggest doing plenty of research first. From actual books that are manuals on the subject, and instructional and informational websites. This will give you an honest way to begin, and to start finding your footing. Erotic novels are great, but they don’t give you the information you need to find the right partner(s) for you. Think of it like going to BDSM school. There aren’t any tests (ok, now I’m having a kinky teacher test scenario fantasy), but knowing these things will give you a good jumping off point, help keep you from harm, and a bit of a navigation guide.

With the rise of “50 Shades of Grey” I’ve done plenty of thinking and reading about the impact of these books. I have not read them. Unless required for some reason, I won’t. The basic premise doesn’t appeal to me. Of the BDSM people I have spoken to, it doesn’t appeal to them either. It also causes many of us concern about how these book affect our community. We are a community, just not a very publicized one. If its one you think you would like to join, after you’ve done your real homework, get online and start looking for BDSM community gatherings. Keep these three things in mind: if there will be playing at the party, there likely won’t be drinking, and don’t show up drunk. Two: do not join in on a scene unless invited to, and that you are comfortable and knowledgeable about what will be happening. Three: Know the rules of the party, you will either be told beforehand or at the door. Don’t be afraid to just watch. Many BDSM groups hold demonstrations on different topics, and attending these can be fun, informational, and a more relaxed environment to meet people in the community than attending a full on play party.

Personally, I haven’t attended a BDSM party in a very long time. I would again, but possibly as only an observer, or assistant. Anymore, with all of my body issues and everything, it’s easier that if we can play, we do it at home. I know the best uses of our pillows and blankets, where all the toys are (and not ever having to lug them up a flight of stairs in 6 in heels ever again, what am I, a pack mule?), and there is nothing better than aftercare in my bed. Plus, all my medications are here. I don’t have to face embarrassment by stopping a scene due to sudden migraine, nausea, or leg spasms. That’s just not fun, it pulls me out of my head space and makes me sometimes feel ashamed. Lastly, when I’m in that head space (known as subspace), and I feel completely safe and trusting, I go to this place that is so peaceful, open, and comforting. There is nothing else like it for me. Being in a public venue, I can’t get to that space fully, it’s just not worth it for me, and to expect the type of aftercare I need from going to full subspace in a public setting is difficult. In the end, sometimes I feel pent-up and frustrated afterwards, because I feel like the scene didn’t really go where I needed it to go.  I am very lucky that Dianne and I click on this subject.

I’ve practiced BDSM since I was…. 16. I didn’t really realize it then, I thought I was just having fun. I made sure I was doing it right (be grateful you don’t have to try to find info online now through dialup), and I enjoyed myself. I learned how to use the tools i was interested in, to watch reactions. BDSM for many people is a journey. When I started out, I wanted to be this sadistic Domme. And I was, I had whips, power exchanges, and some very fun humiliation scenes. As time went on, I got kinkier. I got into foot worshipping (of mine), various toys, and had gotten really good with my singletail whip. Then one day, I found this website gay.com. They had a chat room for butches and femmes. A whole new world opened up, and I was flipped. I started waking up, realizing I wasn’t any sort of butch, and I really really didn’t want to be a Domme. I did so much research, I watched so many people in that chat room talking about themselves in these ways I had never heard of. I read Stone Butch Blues. I had been out for a while, but this, this was an awakening. I realized quickly that I didn’t want to do what I had done. I didn’t want to do the things I discovered. I needed these things done to me. And so that quest began, and it took a lot of not fun pain, frustration, and relationships to get where I am now.

So why do I love the BDSM community so much? The main reason, is this is the most honest place you can ever be. People going here aren’t lying about who they are or what they like. There’s a self-awareness that is rarely found anywhere else. They also care about each other and that no one gets harmed. Safety is of the utmost importance. Lastly, no matter what you’re into, or think you might be into, they accept you. They don’t look down on you if you want to be tied to a Saint Andrews Cross and be burned with cigars. And you shouldn’t look down on them for liking puppy play. One of my favourite BDSM memories is with a puppy.

There are some basic tenets of BDSM, which is why I stress education so much. Learn the kinds of play, and there are a lot. Learn and understand Risk-aware consensual kink and Safe Sane Consensual. Know what one works for you. Learn about proper aftercare. Learn about these before you go out buying toys, or putting out ad’s for who you’re looking for. Learn about safety, and what you need in a safety kit. Pick a safeword (no matter what role you will be taking), and memorize it. Find out about the different training available, and consider if you want a mentor, if you want to learn bootblacking, and if you want to earn your leathers. You may even someday want to run in a Leather Pageant.

I have a very embarrassing story of me once, when I was quite young. I met this girl at a party, not a play party, more of a party/play party/jello wrestling/orgy/firedancing. It was like a sex carnival really, lol. Ok, I knew how to use a flogger and two different kinds of whips. In front of the bonfire with most everyone watching, she had asked me to flog her. I agreed, she showed me areas that she liked and didn’t. Since we were in a wide open space, someone stood as a wall for her. The flogging went well, she enjoyed herself. But, I did something stupid. I didn’t know what to do, and knew nothing of aftercare. I handed her the flogger, and walked away. What an asshole. Later that night, in a private tent, she didn’t bring up what happened. She did offer to spank me though, which I accepted. It was very well done, and she stuck around, and even though I didn’t know the term, she gave me aftercare. I left that morning knowing I was missing a lot of pieces of the puzzle, and proceeded to get books about the subject.

We all still occasionally stumble. We end up where we didn’t expect. Outsiders see us covered in whips and chains playing “mistress of pain” every night. It can be difficult to explain, personally, I don’t even bother. I’ve spent some of my best times tied up, being caned, or at someones feet, or taking orders. I wanted this entry to be sexy and fun, but I think it came out more thoughtful and insightful. One last thing, a Daddy I once had said “I don’t want to harm you, I want to hurt you” (I’ll check with him if its ok to use his name for the post, and update as needed)