Today is brought to you by Panic Attack

I’ve been having a near panic attack all day. I’m frustrated about this for three reasons.

1. I’m out of xanax.
2. I have no reason to be having a panic attack
3. Panic attacks suck

On top of that, I remembered this girl I used to date years ago used to take her friends xanax for fun. I remember her doing it and going, doesn’t it just really calm you down? I don’t get it. I’ve never taken mine for fun. I take it for fucking panic attacks. Which, by the way, is how all panic attacks should be referred to from now on. But now I’m irritated because she was there being all wasteful and dumb with xanax, when people like me actually need it. That was before I knew I needed it though. Its like laughing in the face of my problem in my own little crazy world view.

Oh, and you can’t google “natural cures for panic attacks” because all you get are stupid links to crap sites trying to sell you “natural” cures like vitamins and swedish underarm crystals and the like. I don’t want that, I want a goddamn plant form of xanax, or maybe a xanax tree? I’m not doing well with this panic attack.

I’ve tried to appease the panic attack today with donuts, tea, tramadol, orgasms, beer, ice cream, and a large purring cat. It refuses to disperse. My chest hurts. My prescription can’t be refilled until the 30th. My doctor switched up my meds because of my body pain, so now my body doesn’t hurt as much, but my anxiety is in full swing. I occasionally think “Is this what I was like before I started taking Celexa? This sucks”. But you can’t take it with Cymbalta. Well, I didn’t ask, but I’m fairly certain that as a general rule they’re in the category of “medications you don’t mix”.

Also, you can’t mix antibiotics and alcohol, or you’ll end up painting walls in your own blood and trying to pay off debt collectors with watery margaritas. But thats a story for another day.