Whats that noise?

This is a rant. You’ve been warned.

That noise? Oh, that’s children. Yeah, they make that fucking noise. All. The. Time. It never stops. Ever. If you’re sitting somewhere and you hear some irritating sound, like screaming, or screeching, or grating laughter, or whining, that’s children. They don’t make words come out of their faces that do not include those sounds. How is it people with children don’t commit suicide over having to hear this noise all the time? No wonder my parents are drug addicts! Three kids, that noise, all the time? Yeah, good thing my xanax just got refilled. So far, there is not enough xanax for this.

These are the three ways I’ve found to escape the noise: Turn up your TV/Music Machine of some sort/ Computer, put in some high grade earplugs, build a soundproof bubble.

Normally, I just hear the horrible little neighbourhood spawn running around outside, and I can drown them out with electronic devices. However, two children are staying at my house right now. I’m not going to explain the how’s and why’s. Dante should have included children as one of the tortures in a circle of hell.

I haven’t even said anything about the mass amount of grime and germs. Fuck.

(any comments left about how I’m a horrible person for not liking kids, for not doing what ever blah blah bullshit because they’re so fucking special, how if I had kids it would be different, or any other pro breeding crap, will not be approved, so don’t even bother, this is a rant, get over your overpopulating selves)

Sick with what?

A few time’s I’ve mentioned that I’m sick. I’ve danced around the issue a bit. Not because it’s personal, but because its difficult to explain. I’ll do my best to talk about whats going on health wise here, and I occasionally post updates here, on my Facebook, and on my twitter. I’m about to sound like one of those old people who talks about their ailments.

First, I have some sort of physical illness. I do not know what it is. I have been to 5 neurologists, had 4 MRI’s, an MRA, an MRV, a spinal tap, countless gallons of blood work, and plenty of kinds of random tests. I’ve been tested multiple times for MS, the last answer on that is no. I have a possible diagnosis for Fibromyalgia, but they’re not sure. My blood work came back with some “auto immune issues” but that was the best info I could get. I am also “very anemic” but no doctor will give me any exact definition, and only suggests a multitude of vitamin supplements.

As far as physical symptoms, I have them all. Some of them could be from whatever this is, but it gets more complicated as doctors try different medications in different combinations, so I’m never “clean” enough to really see whats up. My worst is migraines. I get them from 2 to 7 times a week. They last all day, no matter what I do. I also get some special kind of migraine that is just nausea. That’s it, horrifying nausea. My legs hurt, and cramp. That will usually spread within an hour of starting and no amount of medication fixes it. It will start with just one leg muscle then slowly move to all of them, and they will start this repeated unending spasms. My neck  and shoulder muscles hurt most of the time. I have some spots on my body that just hurt (like near my collar-bone). That is what got me the tentative Fibromyalgia diagnosis as well. My feet hurt all the time. I get weak, dizzy, uncoordinated, and have issues remembering things or speaking properly. Sometimes I fall down from the weakness, or have to hold walls and things just to get across the house. All of this is exhausting, and I get exhausted easily. Most nights I have insomnia (like now, it’s almost 4am). I also feel exhausted most of the time. Sometimes I get chest pains for no reason. I often have acid reflux, when up until 3 years ago I had never even had heartburn.

My mental issues thankfully are diagnosed, and no, I do not take a daily medication for them. I did, and the doctors kept changing them because of my other issues, and I felt like a raving lunatic. I would rather have all the other physical issues, than ever take antidepressants again. I take a xanax as needed for panic attacks, but I’m done with antidepressants.

So, there you have it. I have seen doctors that are supposed to be the best in the business. I’ve been told that I’m just depressed, that I have hidden syphilis (without a blood test, mind you), or that it’s all in my head. One doctor actually said all of those in the first (only)  visit.  He is also the only one to say that I might have hidden syphilis. I had another doctor  diagnose me “persistent daily migraines” and say there was nothing to be done, and outside of pain and migraine medication, I’m basically screwed. He also thanked me “for getting another $1000 MRI”. Hilarious.

If you are still reading at this point and saying, well what medications have you taken, I’ll give you the list.

Medications I’m Currently On:

  • Sonata
  • Ambien
  • Maxalt
  • Fiorect
  • Tramadol
  • Flexeril
  • Phenergen
  • Zofran
  • Xanax
  • Naproxen
  • Iron supplement
  • Folic Acid supplement
  • B12 supplement
  • Vitamin D supplement
  • Vitamin C supplement
  • Magnesium supplement
  • Lansoprazole daily (generic Prevacid)
  • Vitamin E supplement
  • Torodol injection (ER or Doc office only)

Previous Medications: 

  • Celexa
  • Cymbalta
  • Compazine
  • Axert
  • Relpax
  • Depakote
  • Nortryptaline
  • Topamax
  • Propranolol
  • Vicodin
  • Percocet
  • Diflunisal
  • Celebrex
  • Rozerem
  • Lunesta
  • Restoril
  • Desyrel

I know I’m not crazy in thinking this is a shit ton of drugs. I’ve also tried chiropractic work, which included physical therapy and 3x weekly trigger point massages. I’ve gone to a naturopathic doctor, who gave me a large array of (incredibly expensive, not covered by insurance) supplements and a daily schedule to take them. I have changed my diet several times, going sugar-free and gluten-free for a while. I’ve done all the migraine trigger food/stuff tests, and did get a few helpful results from that. I’ve had energy work done, like  Vibrational Healing, Laying Hands, Energy Point Unblocking and Healing. I’ve done meditation and very light yoga. I’ve also had a past life regression to see if there was some sort of blockage there.

Some of you may be against these types of therapies but here are my reasons. One, I do believe that they work, and did see some results from them. They didn’t cure me, but they were very helpful, especially with dealing my stress and emotions during all of this. I left any of those sessions feeling better in some way, any way, than I ever have with my specialists. Second, why not? I’ve tried everything western medicine has to offer except for a couple of things that I just can’t stand behind (Botox injections into my head, for example). Those few things I haven’t done are because I looked into them, and there wasn’t enough research proving that they were a safe solution, temporary or permanent. And one of the side effects of the Botox injections is that one side of my face will be unable to move, and that can be permanent.

If you or the person(s) you cared most about were in excruciating pain all day, every day, why wouldn’t you try everything? I’m considering acupuncture, but again, it’s not covered by insurance, there’s a cost there that at this moment I can’t take on. I also need to see a rheumatologist, and getting into a good one, when I can afford it and Dianne can take off work, now that’s a juggling act!

A warning. If you are taking any medications listed above, or any medications at all. Please do these things.

  1. See if it interacts with other meds you take, vitamins, and foods (ahem, grapefruit). A pharmacist and drugs.com are my best suggestions, do both.
  2. Before you start taking anything, find out what the withdrawal symptoms and time periods are. If this is something you are going to be taking for a while, especially with antidepressants, the withdrawal symptoms can be terrifying.
  3. Find out what the side effects are. And if you can take them at work or while driving. You can get a dui if you are on xanax. Employers consider you “incapacitated” if you take xanax or pain medications.
  4. Always have the list handy of everything you are taking. You never know when you might need it. Like a drug test for work, seeing a new doctor, or maybe going out drinking. (DO NOT drink while on antibiotics, google it, its scary)

That’s my spiel. Everything I can think of for the moment. Oh, and if there are any Dr. House wannabe’s out there that want to take a crack at my case, please feel free to contact me. I know this post was winded and long, but it gives you an idea of why I don’t write as much as I’d like, post as much, or why I’m crying during “We Bought A Zoo”. I will probably be doing a post on some bad medication mishaps at some point soon, so that will hopefully be funny. Please, if you have questions, don’t hesitate to leave a comment or contact me. Being sick like this is hard, it helps to have someone to talk to that understands. I’m going to go attempt to write a story now! Sleep……. yeah right.


PS: wordpress is very confused by all my medications and say’s I am spelling them all wrong, except for Vicodin and Botox. Interesting.