The boring coming out

I really enjoy Hannah Hart’s My Drunk Kitchen, and I watch a few of her other videos. I recently watched her Coming Out Part 1 and Part 2.

Is it silly I feel a little bad that my coming out story is so boring? I know someday I would like to write a memoir (who doesn’t?), and that should be included. I don’t know what to write about it. I didn’t have any crisis about who I am, the people in my family I care about didn’t care, or did a really good job pretending they didn’t care. My friends didn’t care. The most difficult part was convincing anyone I was gay, because I’m femme so for the first few years I got that very irritating “You’re too pretty to be gay”. By the way, that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

The people who had issues with me being gay said dumb things that should have insulted me, but instead I just thought they were insane. I came out when I was 17, which was in 1997, in Mesa, Arizona. This is not exactly the most progressive area. I then went (very stupidly) to a private christian college (I’m not christian either, double trouble). To say I got some shit for being gay would be an understatement. The upside? I was raised by a hippie and a biker. I learned to be completely insane and be ok with who I was, even if I didn’t know who the hell that person was.

Here are the most tumultuous parts of coming out for me:

I am always coming out. I don’t do it vocally anymore, there aren’t any “oh, I’m gay by the way” confessions. Because you confess things that you’re ashamed of, or feel are wrong. I don’t. I talk about my girlfriend and use all those words because its normal to me. If someone needs to be eased into it, that’s their problem, not mine.

I dated boys and girls in high school. I slept with both too. I had a very crazy sex life for a high schooler. When I finally figured it out, after what I felt was plenty of experimentation, I had just as much trouble convincing girls I was gay, as I did boys.

I got kicked out of that private college for being gay. Not just that, but I wouldn’t apologize for it, or “renounce” it, or try to not be gay. My girlfriend at the time did. That was shitty. I was more upset about that than being kicked out of school.

Last, I spent several years trying to figure out how to “be gay”. I don’t mean sex. I mean my horrifying attempt at not being femme. I had no idea. Mesa is not a big place, I didn’t know that you didn’t have to be butch to be a lesbian. Someone should make that known. Same that you don’t have to be femme either. Be whatever. But all the lesbians I knew were butch, so I just figured thats how it worked. I’m over that now. Thank the gods.

Thats the bulk of my coming out. So wake up now if it was too boring. Go look at a few of my puppet pics for the beginning of my puppet project.

Oh noes! An update

Ok, I really am working on things. I have a few fun little projects I’m trying to make, along with 2 fun new stories, along with general craziness. Here’s whats up.

I got an awesome gift card for christmas from Diannes dad and step mom (thank you guys!!). We used part of it to pay a bill. I used the rest to buy Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack and finger puppets!!!!! I wish I could properly explain in writing the excitement of these finger puppets. There is a tiny humorless story behind them though, so there’s that.

We were at Bookmans (my favourite book and media store EVER), and we had to leave unexpectedly. Its rare that you go to Bookmans to just get one thing and leave quickly. Or at least for me, I wander around, and look at everything, people watch, chat with random people about the merits of Jenny Lawsons book, etc. One of my best friends called, she was in town! But not for long. So we hurried to checkout, and there were all those little things they try to get you to buy. There was a little box full of these awesome looking finger puppets. There was William Shakespeare, and Edgar Allen Poe (who, as the cashier pointed out, could also double as Prince), the Scream painting guy, and Jesus. There were others, but these were the most interesting. Being the child I am, I spent the whole checkout screaming back and forth with the Scream guy and making Edgar Allen Poe sing Purple Rain. We did not buy the finger puppets (cry). But, I would not be dissuaded. When we got home I found their website and bought those 4. I plan to buy more. Which leads me, finally, to my point.

I want to make little videos with these puppets. Some of them will be just fun readings of their work. I think I’m going to have the Sigmund Freud puppet give interviews. I also have some very (likely offensive) funny things planned for Jesus. So excited.

Thats the main thing. I’m busy on twitter, slowly accumulating followers. My facebook needs work, its sad and boring, like an old folks home. I’m trying to make a calendar background for my computer that has the submission deadlines on it I need to remember. I really suck at remembering those.

As far as new stories, I have 2 I’m working on. I have nightmares often, but oddly, they don’t scare me. Like a horror movie that’s really good but you’re not scared off. I will tell you, one involves zombies made by pollen. I know, its got Syfy channel written all over it. The other is this strange one involving astral projection and varying races of vampires. Its just a hot mess right now.

I am working on writing, I’m doing terrible currently. You can blame this all on my stupid molar that broke over the holidays. It has been a Hades comedy of errors with this damn tooth, and its not even over. It hurts so much, and the dentists I’ve dealt with have been awful. Somewhat jealous of my dads dentures lately. For having dentures, not for living in his mouth. That’s a strange image, forget it.

I’m going to attempt to get to work, once these pain meds kick in. I’ll be playing Fable 2 until then.

I have no funny pictures today. So here’s a song that’s been stuck in my head. Its from that show Bunheads, which I conflictedly like.