Keys to a happy relationship

We’ve been watching that show The Fosters, which is mainly about this lesbian couple and all these kids they foster/adopt. Like they’re collecting children. Not for a sweatshop or some sort of children menagerie, just because they like having lots of kids, no time for each other, drama,and very little money. I assume that’s what most people who have kids like.

Anyways, they said something about how they have so little time to “be intimate” aka prime time non cable speak for sex or bdsm or whatever they’re into. Their excuse is that between kids, work, and paying bills they just don’t have time or energy.

If that is what keeps the sexytime going and a happy relationship, then I guess we win. I explained to Dianne that of course we’re happy by that standard! We don’t have human children, only one of us works, and we can’t pay our bills, we must have the key to perfect happiness. Or something. I think its more of a key to sleeping in and hanging at home all weekend watching horror movies and playing video games.

Either way, we are probably way too happy with each other than fits a typical long term relationship stereotype. Damn.

Writing is like a rainbow

No, that’s shitty. I don’t know what writing is like. Like a psychotic half blind black cat? I have one of those, and writing can be similar to her. Everything will be normal and fine, then suddenly she’s in my face, trying to eat my donut and not giving a shit as she swipes at it with her claws. So then I lay down, because I finished the donut I and I’m too tired to try to pry her claws out of me, and she gets on my chest. She refuses to leave and wants my soul.

I’m hungry, bitch.

Yes, that is what writing is like.

I have 2 blog posts just waiting to be put up here, just waiting for their links and pictures. Damn. I’ll get on that. Not right this moment, it’s almost 4am, Buffy is almost over, and Dianne is going to wake up any moment wanting to know why I’m typing and not sleeping.

I need to get back into writing stories, or at least editing the ones I have. The problem is my everythings decide to hurt, and they are crap motivators for writing. Great motivators for TV watching though. I finished the whole season of Terra Nova in 3 days. Damn Netflix.  I’ve been trying to catch up on my tv watching. It sounds bad, but when you have a queue of around 200 shows/movies, its daunting. And when I finish a show, it feels like I accomplished something. Even if that something is just to yell repeatedly “Its a motherfucking pterodactyl!” and then insist from this point forward if you’re going to use the word pterodactyl you precede it with motherfucking. And I feel special that I spelled pterodactyl without spell check. Go me.

I couldn’t find a Pterodactyl from the show Terra Nova, so I got you this T Rex instead.

PS: I invented a club, it has a slightly changing name but basically its “People who don’t like being fucking told what to do”, our acronym is BITCHES. I’ll be adding this to my about page eventually as well. Admission is free, the password is BITCHES, yelled loudly and inappropriately, preferably around children who will repeat it later.

PPS: I’m watching The Secret Circle now. I’m trying to give myself an easy break during the winter season break of all my other shows. At some point I will actually watch Doctor Who. Someday.

A Sum of Our Parts

I had a completely different post planned for today, but this is just on my mind. My blog is partly my opinions and observations, but some of it is just feelings and thoughts I need to get out. Like therapy without some frustrating (and expensive) therapist.

I’ve listened to this song about 50 times at least. I can’t stop. The video with it is amazing, and only after watching it at least 10 times did I finally see every part of it. After watching it so many times, you begin to see that the lyrics line up perfectly with each image shown, and besides being a great song, during the video I started to feel annoyed, angry, frustrated, and some emotions I can’t even define yet.

I took a Women in Film class in college. My instructor, Nancy Hellner PH. D,  was brilliant, and powerfully intimidating. I didn’t get to finish the class, I ended up dropping out mid semester (I was raped, had a full shut down, story on that another time). I never even told the instructor why I dropped, I was so ashamed she would think I was weak for just falling apart instead of rising above it. That’s my perception, I have no idea what she would have really thought. Her class really did open my mind to the world of the perception of women in media.

The things I learned in that class have stayed with me, and I’ve seen and heard more since then. It’s about how women are perceived, in media, in life, everywhere. It’s beyond taking those female archetypes, this is taking them to extremes, and then promoting them as role models for any female identified person in the world.

Whenever you see a woman in any type of media, you’re not just looking at a woman. What you’re looking at is her parts, look at the camera focus. If we’re interested in her singing why is the center of the shot on her torso, and her face at the top? Follow the lines. Where do they want you to look, and you’ll find, that’s what you see. Everything essentially is advertising, and its all shown with women who are in pieces, not a sum of their parts. What does Lady Gaga’s face look like? Do you remember what she wore more? What she wore in specific areas on her body, is that what you mostly remember? That’s my point.

Sum of parts, not a person

None of this means I’m against nudity, I was practically raised a nudist and when I’m naked it’s because I want to be, its my most comfortable state. I don’t begrudge people who sell their bodies in any form either. I have always been open that I was a stripper for around 4 years, and it had some great points and some really awful ones. What I’m talking about is whether we choose to take of all or some of our clothes, it’s the pespective of what other people are seeing.

I’m frustrated, with seeing these things that haven’t changed, with feeling like I’m part of a miniscule group that sees these things and knows it’s not right, it hurts the women watching it, its embarrassing, it’s so subliminal that female children are posting video’s asking if they’re ugly. What do the people who love women see during all this? Does it sink in subliminally for them to? Does it give them unrealistic expectations of women, does it make them feel justified in objectifying women?

This isn’t a call to action, I’m not asking everyone to stop what you’re doing and turn off the tv. This is a wake up call. Watch TV, watch movies, video’s, look at magazines, but think about it when you do. Notice the women there, not just the breasts, lips, eyes, ass, legs. There are whole people there just waiting to be seen.

PS: If you find that video on youtube of the woman giving the presentation about women in advertising, its long, and in 2 parts, could you post the link in the comments???

PPS: I know men have similar issues in media, so please don’t give me a rant about how I don’t care about how men are perceived.